Lighten Life

I Rescued a Human Today

2010-09-22T17:52:00.001-05:00

Her eyes met mine as she walked down the corridor peering apprehensively into the kennels. I felt her need instantly and knew I had to help her. I wagged my tail, not too exuberantly, so she wouldn't be afraid.

As she stopped at my kennel I blocked her view from a little accident I had in the back of my cage. I didn't want her to know that I hadn't been walked today. Sometimes the shelter keepers get too busy and I didn't want her to think poorly of them.

As she read my kennel card I hoped that she wouldn't feel sad about my past. I only have the future to look forward to and want to make a difference in someone's life.

She got down on her knees and made little kissy sounds at me. I shoved my shoulder and side of my head up against the bars to comfort her. Gentle fingertips caressed my neck; she was desperate for companionship.

A tear fell down her cheek and I raised my paw to assure her that all would be well. Soon my kennel door opened and her smile was so bright that I instantly jumped into her arms. I would promise to keep her safe. I would promise to always be by her side. I would promise to do everything I could to see that radiant smile and sparkle in her eyes. I was so fortunate that she came down my corridor. So many more are out there who haven't walked the corridors. So many more to be saved. At least I could save one. Yes, I could save one.
I rescued a human today.

For Word Freaks

2010-09-12T19:14:00.000-05:00

These are Paraprosdokian Sentences (thanks Marlene)

A paraprosdokian (from Greek "παρα-", meaning "beyond" and "προσδοκία", meaning "expectation") is a figure of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected in a way that causes the reader or listener to reframe the first part. It is frequently used for humorous or dramatic effect, sometimes producing an anticlimax. For this reason, it is extremely popular among comedians and satirists.

Ø I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.

Ø Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.

Ø The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on the list.

Ø Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

Ø If I agreed with you we'd both be wrong.

Ø We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.

Ø War does not determine who is right - only who is left.

Ø Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

Ø The early bird might get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

Ø Evening news is where they begin with 'Good evening', and then proceed to tell you why it isn't.

Ø To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.

Ø A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station.

Ø How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?

Ø I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted pay checks.

Ø A bank is a place that will lend you money, if you can prove that you don't need it.

Ø Whenever I fill out an application, in the part that says "If an emergency, notify:" I put "DOCTOR".

Ø I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.

Ø Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?

Ø Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.

Ø Why do Americans choose from just two people to run for president and 50 for Miss America ?

Ø Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman.

Ø A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

Ø You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.

Ø The voices in my head may not be real, but they have some good ideas!

Ø Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won't expect it back.

Ø A diplomat is someone who can tell you to go to hell in such a way that you will look forward to the trip.

Ø Hospitality: making your guests feel like they're at home, even if you wish they were.

Ø Money can't buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live with.

Ø Some cause happiness wherever they go. Others whenever they go.

Ø There's a fine line between cuddling, and holding someone down so they can't get away.

Ø I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not sure.

Ø I always take life with a grain of salt, plus a slice of lemon, and a shot of tequila.

Ø When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire Department usually uses water.

Ø You're never too old to learn something stupid.

Ø To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target.

Ø Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.

Ø Some people hear voices. Some see invisible people. Others have no imagination whatsoever.

Ø A bus is a vehicle that runs twice as fast when you are after it as when you are in it.

Ø If you are supposed to learn from your mistakes, why do some people have more than one child?

Ø Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

Ten Thoughts to Ponder

2010-08-19T23:15:00.001-05:00

Ten Thoughts to Ponder

Number 10
Life is sexually transmitted.

Number 9
Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.

Number 8
Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich.

Number 7
Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day, teach a person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks.

Number 6
Some people are like a Slinky ... Not really good for anything, but you still can't help but smile when you shove them down the stairs.

Number 5
Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals, dying of nothing.

Number 4
All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to Criticism.

Number 3
Why does a slight tax increase cost you $200.00, and a substantial tax cut saves you $30.00?

Number 2
In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is Weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.

And The Number 1 Thought For 2010

"Life is like a jar of Jalapeno peppers;
What you do today, might Burn Your Ass Tomorrow"

regarding this last one...go hear here

Henri

2010-06-20T21:52:00.000-05:00

Henri is a haunted kitty. Written and directed by Will Braden.

Neologistic Humor

2010-06-06T04:50:00.000-05:00

The Washington Post publishes the winning submissions to its yearly neologism contest, in which readers are asked to supply alternative meanings for common words.

Some winners are:

1. Coffee (n.), the person upon whom one coughs.
2. Flabbergasted (adj.), appalled over how much weight you have gained.
3. Abdicate (v.), to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.
4. Esplanade (v.), to attempt an explanation while drunk.
5. Willy-nilly (adj.), impotent.
6. Negligent (adj.), describes a condition in which you absentmindedly answer the door in your nightgown.
7. Lymph (v.), to walk with a lisp.
8. Gargoyle (n), olive-flavored mouthwash.
9. Flatulence (n.) A smelly British apartment.
10. Balderdash (n.), a rapidly receding hairline.
11. Testicle (n.), a humorous question on an exam.
12. Rectitude (n.), the formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists.
13. Pokemon (n), a Rastafarian proctologist.
14. Oyster (n.), a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms.
15. Frisbeetarianism (n.), (back by popular demand): The belief that, when you die, your soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.
16. Circumvent (n.), an opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish men.

The Washington Post's Style Invitational also asked readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition.More winners:

1. Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.
2. Foreploy (v): Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.
3. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period.
4. Giraffiti (n): Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.
5. Sarchasm (n): The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.
6. Inoculatte (v): To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.
7. Hipatitis (n): Terminal coolness.
8. Osteopornosis (n): A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)
9. Karmageddon (n): its like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer.
10. Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.
11. Glibido (v): All talk and no action.
12. Dopeler effect (n): The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.
13. Arachnoleptic fit (n..): The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web.
14. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.
15. Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after finding half a grub in the fruit you're eating.

And the pick of the literature:
16. Ignoranus (n): A person who's both stupid and an asshole.

Puns for the Higher IQ

2010-06-06T04:46:00.000-05:00

A man's home is his castle, in a manor of speaking.
Dijon vu - the same mustard as before.
Practice safe eating - always use condiments.
Shotgun wedding - A case of wife or death.
A man needs a mistress just to break the monogamy.
A hangover is the wrath of grapes.
Dancing cheek-to-cheek is really a form of floor play.
Does the name Pavlov ring a bell?
Condoms should be used on every conceivable occasion.
Reading while sunbathing makes you well red.
When two egotists meet, it's an I for an I.
A bicycle can't stand on its own because it is two tired.
What's the definition of a will? (It's a dead give away.)
In democracy your vote counts. In feudalism your count votes.
She was engaged to a boyfriend with a wooden leg but broke it off.
A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.
If you don't pay your exorcist, you get repossessed
With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress.
The man who fell into an upholstery machine is fully recovered.
You feel stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.
Local Area Network in Australia - the LAN down under.
Every calendar's days are numbered.
A lot of money is tainted - Taint yours and taint mine.
A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat.
He had a photographic memory that was never developed.
Once you've seen one shopping center, you've seen a mall.
Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead-to-know basis.
Acupuncture is a jab well done.

Breakfast at Ginger's

2010-06-06T04:39:00.000-05:00

Ginger enjoys a leisurely breakfast:

3D Projections on Buildings

2010-06-06T04:29:00.000-05:00

3D Projections on Buildings from NuFormer Digital Media and featured on Vimeo:

Projection on Buildings from NuFormer Projection on Vimeo.

Lost Generation

2010-05-09T15:35:00.003-05:00

Church Bulletin Bloopers

2010-05-09T15:30:00.001-05:00

These sentences (with all the BLOOPERS) actually appeared in church bulletins or were announced in church services:

The Fasting & Prayer Conference includes meals.
--------------------------
The sermon this morning: 'Jesus Walks on the Water.' The sermon tonight: 'Searching for Jesus.'
--------------------------
Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It's a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Bring your husbands.
--------------------------
Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our community. Smile at someone who is hard to love. Say 'Hell' to someone who doesn't care much about you.
--------------------------
Don't let worry kill you off - let the Church help.
--------------------------
Miss Charlene Mason sang 'I will not pass this way again,' giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.
--------------------------
For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs.
--------------------------
Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir. They need all the help they can get.
--------------------------
Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the church. So ends a friendship that began in their school days.
--------------------------
A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall. Music will follow..
--------------------------
At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be 'What Is Hell?' Come early and listen to our choir practice.
--------------------------
Eight new choir robes are currently needed due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.
--------------------------
Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.
--------------------------
Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person you want remembered..
--------------------------
The church will host an evening of fine dining, super entertainment and gracious hostility.
--------------------------
Potluck supper Sunday at 5:00 PM - prayer and medication to follow.
--------------------------
The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every kind. They may be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon.
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This evening at 7 PM there will be a hymn singing in the park across from the Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin.
--------------------------
Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10 AM. All ladies are invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the B. S. Is done.
--------------------------
The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the Congregation would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday.
--------------------------
Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM. Please use the back door.
--------------------------
The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the Church basement Friday at 7 PM. The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.
--------------------------
Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian Church. Please use large double door at the side entrance.
--------------------------
The Associate Minister unveiled the church's new campaign slogan last Sunday: 'I Upped My Pledge - Up Yours

German Coast Guard

2010-04-16T01:32:00.001-05:00

The Dentist

2010-04-16T01:29:00.003-05:00

Hubble Ultra Deep Field 3D

2010-03-29T17:01:00.000-05:00

What happens when you point the Hubble Space Telescope to a seemingly blank patch of sky? A view that takes you to the edge of the universe!

Hubble Ultra Deep Field 3D

Advice

2010-03-29T16:59:00.003-05:00

These are 40 expressions of advice that one must remember.

Advice.pps

Fukitol

2010-03-17T15:38:00.002-05:00

DAMNITOL
Take two and the rest of the world can go to hell for up to eight full hours.

EMPTYNESTROGEN
Suppository that eliminates melancholy and loneliness by reminding you of how awful they were as teenagers and how you couldn't wait till they moved out!

ST. MOMMA'S WORT
Plant extract that treats mom's depression by rendering preschoolers unconscious for up to two days.

PEPTOBIMBO
Liquid silicone drink for single women. Two full cups swallowed before an evening out increases breast size, decreases intelligence, and prevents conception.

DUMBEROL
When taken with Peptobimbo, can cause dangerously low IQ, resulting in enjoyment of country music and pickup trucks.

FLIPITOR
Increases life expectancy of commuters by controlling road rage and the urge to flip off other drivers.

MENICILLIN
Potent anti-boy-otic for older women. Increases resistance to such lethal lines as, 'You make me want to be a better person.'

BUYAGRA
Injectable stimulant taken prior to shopping. Increases potency, duration, and credit limit of spending spree.

JACKASSPIRIN
Relieves headache caused by a man who can't remember your birthday, anniversary, phone number, or to lift the toilet seat

ANTI-TALKSIDENT
A spray carried in a purse or wallet to be used on anyone too eager to share their life stories with total strangers in elevators.

NAGAMENT
When administered to a boyfriend or husband, provides the same irritation level as nagging him, without opening your mouth.

This Blessing Is For You

2010-03-17T15:32:00.003-05:00

A blessing from Andie's Isle.

Style Your Garage

2010-03-16T00:18:00.001-05:00

"The days of boring garage doors are numbered! That’s because there are now photo tarpaulins for garage doors from style-your-garage.com! Our Top 20 is now available in 2 sizes: 2,45 m x 2,10 m and new 2,75 m x 2,45 m.

Garage doors have until now mostly been mouse gray and ugly – and often spoil the appearance of well-maintained homes. But now, the days of those hideous garage doors are numbered! That’s because the new photo tarpaulins from style-your-garage.com can give monochrome up-and-over garage doors a whole new look. The printed-on 3D motifs are deceptively realistic and will cause neighbors, friends and passers-by to stop and stare!" - style-your-garage.com

Back to Work

2010-03-13T15:15:00.001-06:00

A woman goes back to work after 30 years off the job.

Chick Wish

2010-03-11T17:57:00.000-06:00

A man walks into a restaurant with a full-grown ostrich behind him. The waitress asks them for their orders .

The man says, 'A hamburger, fries and a coke,' and turns to the ostrich, 'What's yours?'

'I'll have the same,' says the ostrich.

A short time later the waitress returns with the order 'That will be $9.40 please,' and the man reaches into his pocket and pulls out the exact change for payment.

The next day, the man and the ostrich come again and the man says, 'A hamburger, fries and a coke.'

The ostrich says, 'I'll have the same.'

Again the man reaches into his pocket and pays with exact change.

This becomes routine until the two enter again. 'The usual?' asks the waitress.

'No, this is Friday night, so I will have a steak, baked potato and a salad,' says the man.

'Same,' says the ostrich.

Shortly the waitress brings the order and says, 'That will be $32.62.'

Once again the man pulls the exact change out of his pocket and places it on the table.

The waitress cannot hold back her curiosity any longer. 'Excuse me, sir. How do you manage to always come up with the exact change in your pocket every time?'

'Well,' says the man, 'several years ago I was cleaning the attic and found an old lamp. When I rubbed it, a Genie appeared and offered me two wishes. My first wish was that if I ever had to pay for anything, I would just put my hand in my pocket and the right amount of money would always be there.'

'That's brilliant!' says the waitress. 'Most people would ask for a million dollars or something, but you'll always be as rich as you want and for as long as you live!'

'That's right. Whether it's a gallon of milk or a Rolls Royce, the exact money is always there,' says the man..

The waitress asks, 'What's with the ostrich?'

The man sighs, pauses and answers, 'My second wish was for a tall chick with a big butt and long legs who agrees with everything I say.'

Automatic Blinds

2010-02-24T22:31:00.000-06:00

What engineers do when they retire - or - How to open your blinds automatically: Click Here

Puns For Educated Minds

2010-02-18T14:24:00.002-06:00

1. The roundest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.

2. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian .

3. She was only a whiskey maker, but he loved her still.

4. A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class, because it was a weapon of math disruption.

5. No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.

6. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.

7. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.

8. Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.

9. A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall.. The police are looking into it.

10. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.

11. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

12. Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway.. One hat said to the other: 'You stay here; I'll go on a head.'

13.. I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.

14. A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said: 'Keep off the Grass.'

15. The short fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.

16. The man who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.

17. A backward poet writes inverse.

18. In a democracy it's your vote that counts. In feudalism it's your count that votes.

19. When cannibals ate a missionary, they got a taste of religion.

20. If you jumped off the bridge in Paris , you'd be in Seine.

The Shoplifting Seagull

2010-02-18T14:19:00.002-06:00

Simon's Cat

2010-02-17T19:57:00.004-06:00

"Simon's Cat" began as a series of short, animated films by Simon Tofield. Simon draws all the films by hand using an A4-size Wacom Intuos 3 pen and tablet. This can require up to 25 drawings per second of animation, which is done using Adobe Flash. Simon also makes all of the character's sounds himself, working with sound designer, 'Shrooty'.

Now you can see Simon's cat in his very own book.

Cat Man Do:
The very first Simon's Cat film! See how it all began.

Let Me In:
There's a reason man invented the cat-flap.

TV Dinner:
Watching TV can be bad for your health.

Fly Guy:
The Cat is back! Just when you thought it was safe to fall asleep on the sofa...

Hot Spot:
This film was created to celebrate the release of the first Simon's Cat book. It brings to life one of the sketches from within its pages.

Snow Business:
There's no business like Snow Business. The entire film is ready to view now!

Fed Up:
Created for the RSPCA's 'Give Animals A Voice' Campaign. The film helps to raise awareness about animal obesity.

Interview with Simon:
Simon interviewed about the Simon's Cat book and the inspiration behind Simon's Cat.

Simon now has four cats providing inspiration for his drawings:
Hugh, Maisie, Jess and Teddy, the most recent addition to the family.

The Official Simon's Cat Website:
www.simonscat.com

Subscribe to Simon's Cat on YouTube and always be one of the first to know when new Simon's Cat films are uploaded. The Simon's Cat films have been viewed through YouTube over 55 million times!
www.youtube.com/user/simonscat

Become a fan of Simon's Cat on Facebook and share cat stories and photos with thousands of other Simon's Cat fans across the world.
www.facebook.com/simonscat

Follow Simon's Cat on Twitter to hear the latest Simon's Cat news and ponderings. And if you're very lucky, maybe you'll also get Simon's Cat tweeting back at you!
www.twitter.com/simonscat

Split Second

2010-02-07T14:29:00.000-06:00

The Stillness

2010-02-06T17:22:00.003-06:00

A slide presentation made by Jim Cleveland:

50 Years of History

2010-02-03T17:50:00.002-06:00

Whether you are a Billy Joel fan or not, you probably remember his great song, "We Didn't Start the Fire." Here it is, set to pictures... very, very cool. I never did know the words. Turn up volume, sit back and enjoy a review of 50 years of history in less than 3 minutes! Thanks to Billy Joel and some guy from the University of Chicago with a lot of spare time and Google. Top left gives you full screen....top right lets you pause Bottom left shows the year. The older you are, the more pictures you will recognize. Anyone over age 50 should remember over 90% of what they see. But it's great at any age.

http://yeli.us/Flash/Fire.html

Your Birth Year News

2010-01-31T19:52:00.003-06:00

Click on the year you were born, or any other year, and read the news for that year.

          1900         1911    1922    1933    1944
          1901          1912          1923          1934          1945
          1902          1913          1924          1935    1946
          1903    1914          1925          1936        1947
          1904          1915    1926    1937    1948
          1905          1916    1927    1938    1949
          1906          1917    1928    1939    1950
          1907          1918          1929          1940    1951
          1908          1919          1930          1941        1952
          1909          1920          1931          1942    1953
          1910          1921    1932    1943    1954

          1955          1965          1975          1985          1995
          1956          1966          1976          1986          1996
          1957          1967          1977          1987          1997
          1958          1968          1978          1988          1998
          1959          1969          1979          1989          1999
          1960          1970          1980          1990          2000
          1961          1971          1981          1991          2001
          1962          1972          1982          1992          2002
          1963          1973          1983          1993          2003
          1964          1974          1984          1994          2004

          2005
          2006

Waves of Hawaii

2010-01-25T03:52:00.004-06:00

Waimea Bay shore-break surfing pioneer, husband, and father of two, Clark Little has gained nationwide recognition for his photography with appearances on Good Morning America, Inside Edition, and many local news stations across the U.S.

Clark Little on Good Morning America (2009):

It all started in 2007 when Clark 's wife wanted a nice piece of art to decorate a wall. Voluntarily, Clark grabbed a camera, jumped in the water, and starting snapping away capturing the beauty and power of monstrous Hawaiian waves from the inside out.

"Clark's view" is a unique view of the ocean that most will only be able to experience safely on land while studying one of Clark's photos.

Now with a camera upgrade and an itch to get that better shot, Clark has taken this on full time and has moved his office from land, to the inside of a barrel.

Since the recent stir of Clark 's work, his images have been run on the Today Show, ABC World News Now, Nature's Best Photography, Paris Match (France), La Vie (France), Hana Hou (Hawaiian Airlines) magazine, Surfer magazine, Surfer's Journal as well as multiple publishers and newspapers in the U.S. and overseas.

These incredible images of waves in the Hawaiian Islands were taken by Clark Little, the number one photographer of surf. He is dedicated to photographing the waves and has published a selection of his best images.

He captures magical moments inside the tube as surfers say.

Sun Glints Off Wave

Sand in Surf

This shot captures sand from the ocean's floor being swept up by a monstrous wave and resembles a sandstorm. Little calls it the 'Sand Monster'. "There were clouds of sand ten feet high and I'm standing there. I'm holding on to my camera and my trigger as long as I can. Then I have to jump into the cloud of sand to try to get out of danger's way."

His fans pay as much as $4,000 for his gorgeous photos.

Tubular Shining

Beach - Surf Crashes Down

Molten Liquid Gold

White Tumultuous Water

Splash - Stunning Shot

Red Mysterious Shot

Break - Wave Crashes Down

Beauty - Water Drops

This shot is his favorite. With a high shutter speed he caught the brilliant fanned effect of two waves intersecting each other and throwing out this beautiful fan of water.

Stellar Photos

2010-01-25T03:52:00.001-06:00

Stellar work: Our dazzling galaxy at night captured by photographer during 16-year mission around the world:

The twinkling stars that shine above our planet will cause most of us to gaze up in amazement every so often.

But for Iranian photographer and journalist Babak Tafreshi they are a daily obsession. Spending the last 16 years travelling the world, he has spent every day for his entire adult life capturing the sky at night.

From his native country to as far afield as Norway and Nepal, the 34-year-old has set up his camera to reveal our galaxy in all its splendour while also showing some of the most awesome sights of this world.

Mr Tafreshi, who won last year's Lennart Nilsson Award for best scientific photography, has visited all the continents including Antarctica in his quest.

Oh my Dog!

2010-01-25T03:47:00.005-06:00

Meet 'Giant George' the 7ft-long Blue Great Dane Who Could be the World's Tallest Dog

Standing at nearly 43 inches tall from paw to shoulder and weighing a staggering 245lbs could this be the world's new tallest dog?

Pictured here in the parks of Tuscon, Arizona, George, a four-year-old blue great dane, looks more like a miniature horse than a dog. Read More

The '35 Chevy

2010-01-25T03:45:00.002-06:00

GM takes you around the country in a 1935 Chevy! Learn about the "new" road to Key West, the amazing truck/bus/train of the future, and how many "bathing beauties" you can fit on a '35 Chevy. This is classic Americana!

Know It All Quiz

2010-01-25T03:19:00.001-06:00

A quiz for people who think they know it all:

This is a quiz for people who know everything! I found out in a hurry that I didn't. These are not trick questions. They are straight questions with straight answers.

1. Name the one sport in which neither the spectators nor the participants know the score or the leader until the contest ends.

2. What famous North American landmark is constantly moving backward?

3. Of all vegetables, only two can live to produce on their own for several growing seasons. All other vegetables must be replanted every year. What are the only two perennial vegetables?

4. What fruit has its seeds on the outside?

5. In many liquor stores, you can buy 20 pear brandy, with a real pear inside the bottle. The pear is whole and ripe, and the bottle is genuine; it hasn't been cut in any way. How did the pear get inside the bottle?

6. Only three words in standard English begin with the letters " dw" and they are all common words. Name two of them.

7. There are 14 punctuation marks in English grammar. Can you name at least half of them?

8. Name the only vegetable or fruit that is never sold frozen, canned, processed, cooked, or in any other form except fresh.

9. Name 6 or more things that you can wear on your feet beginning with the letter "S."

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Answers To Quiz:

1. The one sport in which neither the spectators nor the participants know the score or the leader until the contest ends: Boxing

2. North American landmark constantly moving backward: Niagara Falls (The rim is worn down about two and a half feet each year because of the millions of gallons of water that rush over it every minute.)

3. Only two vegetables that can live to produce on their own for several growing seasons: Asparagus and rhubarb.

4. The fruit with its seeds on the outside: Strawberry.

5. How did the pear get inside the brandy bottle? It grew inside the bottle... The bottles are placed over pear buds when they are small, and are wired in place on the tree. The bottle is left in place for the entire growing season. When the pears are ripe, they are snipped off at the stems.

6. Three English words beginning with dw: Dwarf, dwell and dwindle.

7. Fourteen punctuation marks in English grammar: Period, comma, colon, semicolon, dash, hyphen, apostrophe, question mark, exclamation point, quotation mark, brackets, parenthesis, braces, and ellipses.

8. The only vegetable or fruit never sold frozen, canned, processed, cooked, or in any other form but fresh: Lettuce

9. Six or more things you can wear on your feet beginning with "S": Shoes, socks, sandals, sneakers, slippers, skis, skates, snowshoes, stockings, stilts.

Hot Chocolate Wisdom

2010-01-25T02:57:00.001-06:00

Latte Art

2010-01-25T01:49:00.010-06:00

"Latte Art is a style of pouring steamed milk into a shot of espresso that creates a pattern or design on the surface of the resulting latte. It can also be created or embellished by simply “drawing” in the top layer of foam. Latte art is particularly difficult to create consistently, due to the demanding conditions required of both the espresso shot and milk. This, in turn, is limited by the experience of the barista and quality of the espresso machine. The pour itself, then, becomes the last challenge for the latte artist.

Creating steamed milk requires the introduction of steam to the milk until a certain amount of froth is created. As the milk is poured, the froth phase separates from the liquid phase and rises to the top. If the milk and espresso shot are “just right,” and the pitcher is moved during the pour, the foam will rise to create a pattern on the surface.

The foam content is controlled by the barista during the steaming process. Too much foam creates a totally white surface (see cappuccino), while not enough creates a homogeneous, light-brown coffee drink, with no foam or patterning. To pour latte art, the milk should be shiny, slightly thick, and should have very small, uniform bubbles. It is not particularly "foamy"- it is better described a “gooey,” and closely resembles melted marshmallows. There have been a variety of names used for this ideal standard, such as “microfoam,” “velvet milk,” “microbubbles,” and so forth.

The quality of the espresso shot is also important, the Espresso should have an extraction time of 20-30 seconds. Before the milk is added, the shot must have a creamy brown surface of foam, known as crema. As the white foam from the milk rises to meet the red/brown surface of the shot, a contrast is created and the design emerges.

Video: Latte Art: Making Art with Latte Coffee

Some controversy exists within the coffee community as to whether or not there is excessive focus on latte art amongst baristas. The argument is that too much focus on the appearance of a drink leads some to ignore more important issues, such as taste. This is especially relevant with new baristas.

The most common form of poured latte art is known as the "rosetta,” and resembles a type of flower. This design is usually poured while keeping the cup tilted in one direction. As the milk is poured straight into the cup, the foam begins to surface on one side (due to the tilt). The barista then moves the pitcher from side to side as he or she levels the cup, and finishes by making a quick strike through the previously poured pattern. This "strike" creates the stem portion of the flower design, and bends the poured zig-zag into a flower shape. Although the rosetta design is common, many others are possible. These can range from simple geometric shapes to complicated drawings, such as crosshatched patterns, apples, hearts, animals, and flowers. Some can be done with a single pour, others require multiple pours, and still others call for etches in the design after pouring, usually with a coffee stirrer of some sort." - Wikipedia "Latte Art"

Video: Sammy Lin's Latte Art - Part One
Video: Sammy Lin's Latte Art - Part Two

Google search the Latte Printer

Painted Hands

2010-01-25T00:53:00.003-06:00

"Guido Daniele is an artist who lives and works in Milan, Italy. He was born in Soverato. In 1972, he graduated from Brera School of Arts, majoring in sculpture and then attended the Tankas school in Dharamsalawent, India until 1974. He has worked as a hyper-realistic illustrator, co-operating with editing and advertising companies, innovating with airbrush and testing out various painting techniques. He has painted backcloths up to 400 square meters in size. He has also painted trompe l'oeil images for private houses and public buildings. In 1990, he developed a body painting technique, and his work has been used in advertising images and commercials, as well as fashion events and exhibitions.

Guido was the 2007 Hero of the Year. An award given to him by the Animal Planet television network." - Wikipedia "Guido Daniele"

A montage of some of Guido's hand paintings:

To see more of Guido's work visit: www.guidodaniele.com

Hendrix Speed Painting

2010-01-25T00:41:00.002-06:00

Performance painter, David Garibaldi, paints Jimi Hendrix for an audience in under six minutes:

Denny Dent doing it:

WOO0MB

2009-12-12T19:02:00.003-06:00

Three gents were drinking apple martinis in a bar
and had gotten to the stage of arguing about details.

"I tell you it's spelled W-O-O-M," the first said loudly.

"No no, no," the second protested. "It's W-O-O-0-M.'

"You're both wrong," the third ventured. "I say it's W-O-O-M-B."

A gynecologst passing spoke up. "You're getting close," she told them. "Actually, it's W-O-M-B."

They stared at her a moment, then stared at each other. Finally one spoke: "Madam," he said, "it's obvious that you've never heard an elephant fart."

Devil Went Down to Jamaica

2009-12-02T01:48:00.008-06:00

The Muppets Band: Devil Went Down to Jamaica

Video from: The Muppets Band: Devil Went Down to Georgia.
Music from: David Allan Coe, "Devil Went Down To Jamaica".

"Devil Went Down to Jamaica" Lyrics:

The devil went to Jamaica, he was lookin' to sell some weed,
He was doin' fine, they were standin' in line, it was excellent weed indeed. When he came across this young man who was likewise peddlin' pot, and the devil slid down the beach to the kid and said "Boy let me tell you what"

"I guess you kinda' figured I'm a reefer head of course,
And after all this time I guess that I'm a connoisseur of sorts.
Now your stuff smells ok, but this could tranqulize a horse.
I bet a million in cash against your stash, cause I think mines better than yours."

The boy said "My name's Johnny, and you ain't smoked nothing yet. One hit of this grass'll kick your ass, you got yourself a bet."

Chorus:

Johnny roll a ball of hash, and make sure it's the bomb,
Cause the devil's got the kind of stuff they smoked in Veitnam,
You'll get a million smackeroos in cash if you can cope,
But if you can't, the devil gets your dope...

The devil packed a bong with a little Aculpulco Gold,
And resin flew from his fingertips as he fired up his bowl.
He filled that chamber all the way, and he took a mighty hit.
As they passed it back and forth, it gave em both a coughing fit.

(Coughing) ...Damn....

When the bowl was finished, Johnny said "Hey man that stuff was great, But fill your lungs with some of this, and prepare to vegitate.

Chorus 2:

Cannabis, Sativa, Sweet Mary Jane,
The devil's in the back yard fryin' his brain.
Zig-Zag filled with the diggety dank,
Hold on tight it'll hit you like a tank.

The devil nodded off because he knew that he was stoned,
And he asked if he could buy an ounce of the stuff that Johnny owned. Johnny said "Devil just come on back if you ever want catch a buzz. I done told you once you son of a bitch, Mine's the best there ever was."

And they...
Fired up doobies one by one...
ain'ta gonna stop till the bag is done...
Green as a bullfrog, sticky as glue...
Granny do you get high, 'Yes i do..'

Queen's "Bohemian Rhapsody" performed by The Muppet Band.

Firewood Green

2009-12-02T01:20:00.003-06:00

”Hello, is this the FBI?”

“Yes. What can I do for you?”

“I’m calling to report about my neighbor Virgil Smith. He is hiding marijuana inside his firewood!”

“Thank you very much for the call, sir.”

The next day, the FBI agents descend on Virgil’s house. They search the shed where the firewood is kept. Using axes, they burst open every piece of wood, but even with dope sniffin’ dogs find no marijuana. They sneer at Virgil and leave. The phone rings at Virgil’s house.

“Hey, Virgil! This here is Floyd. Did the FBI come?”

“Yeah!”

“Did they chop your firewood?

“Yep.”

“Happy Birthday, buddy”

Cheese Puff Elvis on Velvet

2009-12-02T01:20:00.002-06:00

Elvis Presley painted with Cheese puffs on Black Velvet.

You can visit the Eclectic Asylum Art YouTube channel to see more art in unusual mediums.

Steven Wright Jokes

2009-12-02T01:13:00.007-06:00

What a nice night for an evening.

I wish the first word I ever said was the word "quote," so right before I die I could say "unquote."

I intend to live forever.
So far, so good.

When I die, I'm leaving my body to science fiction.

Right now I'm having amnesia and deja vu at the same time.

I play the harmonica. The only way I can play is if I get my car going really fast, and stick it out the window.

I'm writing a book. I've got the page numbers done.

If a word in the dictionary were misspelled, how would we know?

What's another word for Thesaurus?

I was trying to daydream, but my mind kept wandering.

When I woke up this morning my girlfriend asked me, "Did you sleep good?" I said "No, I made a few mistakes."

Don't you hate when your hand falls asleep and you know it will be up all night.

A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I'm afraid of widths.

The universe is expanding. That should help ease the traffic.

If you are in a spaceship that is traveling at the speed of light, and you turn on the headlights, does anything happen?

I put instant coffee in a microwave oven and almost went back in time.

I have an existential map. It has 'You are here' written all over it.

If you tell a joke in the forest, but nobody laughs, was it a joke?

Cross country skiing is great if you live in a small country.

Everywhere is within walking distance if you have the time.

I saw a bank that said "24 Hour Banking," but I don't have that much time.

I saw a subliminal advertising executive, but only for a second.

If it's a penny for your thoughts and you put in your two cents worth, then someone, somewhere is making a penny.

I went to a restaurant that serves "breakfast at any time". So I ordered French Toast during the Renaissance.

I think it's wrong that only one company makes the game Monopoly.

In Vegas, I got into a long argument with the man at the roulette wheel over what I considered to be an odd number.

I had a friend who was a clown. When he died, all his friends went to the funeral in one car.

If Dracula can't see his reflection in a mirror, how come his hair is always so neatly combed?

Ever notice how irons have a setting for permanent press? I don't get it.

For my birthday I got a humidifier and a de-humidifier... I put them in the same room and let them fight it out.

It doesn't matter what temperature the room is, it's always room temperature.

There was a power outage at a department store yesterday. Twenty people were trapped on the escalators.

At one point he decided enough was enough.

On the other hand, you have different fingers.

You can't have everything. Where would you put it?

stevenwright.com

Van Gogh Show

2009-12-02T01:10:00.002-06:00

A slide show of paintings by Vincent van Gogh set to "Starry, Starry Night" by Don McClean.

Magic Gopher

2009-12-02T01:08:00.001-06:00

Can the magic gopher read your mind? Or, does this have something to do with the number nine?

Age vs. Wisdom

2009-12-02T00:59:00.003-06:00

A guy is 86 years old and loves to fish. He was sitting in his boat the other day when he heard a voice say, "Pick me up." He looked around and couldn't see any one. He thought he was dreaming when he heard the voice say again, "Pick me up."

He looked in the water and there, floating on the top was a frog.

The man said, "Are you talking to me?"

The frog said, "Yes, I'm talking to you. Pick me up. Then, kiss me and I'll turn into the most beautiful woman you have ever seen. I'll make sure that all your friends are envious and jealous because you will have me as your bride."

The man looked at the frog for a short time, reached over, picked it up carefully, and placed it in his front breast pocket.

Then the frog said, "What, are you nuts? Didn't you hear what I said? I said kiss me and I will be your beautiful bride."

He opened his pocket, looked at the frog and said, "Nah, at my age I'd rather have a talking frog."

Kids Say the Darndest Things

2009-12-02T00:50:00.002-06:00

The math teacher saw that little Johnny wasn’t paying attention in class. She called on him and said, “Johnny! What are 4, 2, 28 and 44?” Little Johnny quickly replied, “NBC, CBS, HBO, and the Cartoon Network!

”When I stopped the bus to pick up Chris for preschool, I noticed an older woman hugging him as he left the house. “Is that your grandmother?” I asked.

“Yes, ‘Chris said. “She’s come to visit us for Christmas.”“How nice,” I said. “Where does she live?”

“At the airport,” Chris replied. “Whenever we want her, we just go out there and get her.”

When the mother returned from the grocery store, her small son pulled out the box of animal crackers he had begged for, then he spread the animal-shaped crackers all over the kitchen counter.

“What are you doing?” his Mom asked.

“The box says you can’t eat them if the seal is broken,” the boy explained. “I’m looking for the seal.”

This little grandmother was surprised by her 7 year old grandson one morning. He had made her coffee. She drank what was the worst cup of coffee in her life. When she got to the bottom, there were three ofthose little green army men in the cup. She said, “Honey, what are these army men doing in my coffee?

”Her grandson said, “Grandma, it says on TV ‘The best part of waking up is soldiers in your cup!’”

A three-year-old boy went with his dad to see a new litter of kittens. On returning home, he breathlessly informed his mother, “There were two boy kittens and two girl kittens.”

“How did you know that?” his mother asked. “Daddy picked them up and looked underneath,” he replied. “I think it’s printed on the bottom.

”While working for an organization that delivers lunches to elderly shut-ins, I used to take my four-year-old daughter on my afternoon rounds. She was unfailingly intrigued by the various appliances of old age, particularly the canes, walkers and wheelchairs. One day I found her staring at a pair of false teeth soaking in a glass.

As I braced myself for the inevitable barrage of questions, she merely turned and whispered, “The tooth fairy will never believe this!

”A little girl was watching her parents dress for a party. When she saw her dad donning his tuxedo, she warned, “Daddy, you shouldn’t wear that suit,”

"And why not, darling?”

“You know that it always gives you a headache the next morning.”

While walking along the sidewalk in front of his church, our minister heard the intoning of a prayer that nearly made his collar wilt. Apparently, his five-year-old son and his playmates had found a dead robin. Feeling that proper burial should be performed, they had secured a small box and cotton batting, then dug a hole and made ready for the disposal of the deceased. The minister’s son was chosen to say the appropriate prayers and with sonorous dignity intoned his version of what he thought his father always said: “Glory be unto the Faaaather. And to the sonnn......and into the hole he gooooes.”

Kids Prayers to God

2009-12-02T00:47:00.000-06:00

1. Dear God, please put another holiday between Christmas and Easter. There is nothing good in there now. Amanda

2. Dear God, Thank you for the baby brother but what I asked for was a puppy. I never asked for anything before. You can look it up. Joyce

3. Dear Mr. God, I wish you would not make it so easy for people to come apart. I had to have 3 stitches and a shot. Janet

4. Dear God, I read the bible. What does beget mean? Nobody will tell me. Love, Alison

5. Dear God, how did you know you were God? Who told you? Charlene

6. Dear God, is it true my father won’t get in Heaven if he uses his golf words in the house? Anita

7. Dear God, I bet it’s very hard for you to love all of everybody in the whole world. There are only 4 people in our family and I can never do it. Nancy

8. Dear God, I like the story about Noah the best of all of them. You really made up some good ones. I like walking on water, too. Glenn

9. Dear God, my Grandpa says you were around when he was a little boy. How far back do you go? Love, Dennis

10. Dear God, do you draw the lines around the countries? If you don’t, who does? Nathan

11. Dear God, did you mean for giraffes to look like that or was it an accident? Norma

12. Dear God, in bible times, did they really talk that fancy? Jennifer

13. Dear God, how come you did all those miracles in the old days and don’t do any now? Billy

14. Dear God, please send Dennis Clark to a different summer camp this year. Peter

15. Dear God, maybe Cain and Abel would not kill each other so much if they each had their own rooms. It works out OK with me and my brother. Larry

16. Dear God, I keep waiting for spring, but it never did come yet. What’s up? Don’t forget. Mark

17. Dear God, my brother told me about how you are born but it just doesn’t sound right. What do you say? Marsha

18. Dear God, if you watch in Church on Sunday I will show you my new shoes. Barbara

19. Dear God, is Reverend Coe a friend of yours, or do you just know him through the business? Donny

20. Dear God, I do not think anybody could be a better God than you. Well, I just want you to know that. I am not just saying that because you are already God. Charles

21. Dear God, it is great the way you always get the stars in the right place. Why can’t you do that with the moon? Jeff

22. Dear God, I am doing the best I can. Really. Frank

23. Dear God, I didn’t think orange went with purple until I saw the sunset you made on Tuesday night. That was really cool. Thomas

Mirror in the Water

2009-12-02T00:43:00.002-06:00

A beautiful series of photographs capturing reflections on water.

Carlin's Life Reflections

2009-12-02T00:34:00.003-06:00

by: George Carlin

1. Never raise your hands to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected.

2. I'm not into working out. My philosophy is no pain, no pain.

3. I'm in shape. Round is a shape.

4. I'm desperately trying to figure out why Kamikaze pilots wore helmets.

5. Do illiterate people get the full effect of alphabet soup?

6. I've always wanted to be somebody, but I should have been more specific.

7. Ever notice when you blow in a dog's face he gets mad at you, but when you take him in a car he sticks his head out the window?

8. Ever notice that anyone going slower than you is an idiot, but anyone going faster than you is a maniac?

9. You have to stay in shape. My mother started walking five miles a day when she was 60. She's 97 now and we have no idea where she is.

10. I have six locks on my door, all in a row. When I go out, I lock every other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always locking three of them.

11. One out of every three Americans is suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of two of your best friends. If they are OK, then it must be you.

12. They show you how detergents take out bloodstains. I think if you've got a T-shirt with bloodstains all over it, maybe your laundry isn't your biggest problem.

13. Ask people why they have deer heads on their walls and they tell you it's because they're such beautiful animals. I think my wife is beautiful, but I only have photographs of her on the wall.

14. A lady came up to me on the street, pointed at my suede jacket and said, "Don't you know a cow was murdered for that jacket?" I said "I didn't know there were any witnesses. Now I'll have to kill you too".

15. Future historians will be able to study at the Jimmy Carter Library, the Gerald Ford Library, the Ronald Reagan Library, and the Bill Clinton Adult Bookstore.

georgecarlin.com

Peace of Mind Exercise

2009-12-02T00:29:00.002-06:00

Find Some Peace of Mind With This Small Exercise:

Make an appointment with yourself.
Find some solitude in the day.
Turn off all the things that draw your attention away.
Notice the subtlety of the silence.
Slow down your breath to capture the moment.
Think about your place in the world.

The Universe Within

2009-12-02T00:27:00.000-06:00

View the Milky Way at 10 million light years from the Earth. Then move through space towards the Earth in successive orders of magnitude until you reach a tall oak tree just outside the buildings of the National High Magnetic Field Laboratory in Tallahassee, Florida. After that, begin to move from the actual size of a leaf into a microscopic world that reveals leaf cell walls, the cell nucleus, chromatin, DNA and finally, into the subatomic universe of electrons and protons.

Secret Worlds: The Universe Within

Hubble Images

2009-12-01T23:56:00.001-06:00

A collection of beautiful images taken from the Hubble telescope.

For more space photography you can visit the image gallery at nasa.gov or nasaimages.org

Carlin on Values

2009-12-01T23:50:00.002-06:00

Comic philosopher Carlin, who recently lost his wife, felt especially poignant when he wrote this gem about his longstanding serio-comic complaints with society and where true value lies.

The paradox of our time in history is that we have taller buildings but shorter tempers, wider Freeways, but narrower viewpoints. We spend more, but have less, we buy more, but enjoy less. We have bigger houses and smaller families, more conveniences, but less time. We have more degrees but less sense, more knowledge, but less judgment, more experts, yet more problems, more medicine, but less wellness.

We drink too much, smoke too much, spend too recklessly, laugh too little, drive too fast, get too angry, stay up too late, get up too tired, read too little, watch TV too much, and pray too seldom.

We have multiplied our possessions, but reduced our values. We talk too much, love too seldom, and hate too often.

We've learned how to make a living, but not a life. We've added years to life not life to years. We've been all the way to the moon and back, but have trouble crossing the street to meet a new neighbor. We conquered outer space but not inner space. We've done larger things, but not better things.

We've cleaned up the air, but polluted the soul. We've conquered the atom, but not our prejudice. We write more, but learn less. We plan more, but accomplish less. We've learned to rush, but not to wait. We build more computers to hold more information, to produce more copies than ever, but we communicate less and less.

These are the times of fast foods and slow digestion, big men and small character, steep profits and shallow relationships. These are the days of two incomes but more divorce, fancier houses, but broken homes. These are days of quick trips, disposable diapers, throwaway morality, one night stands, overweight bodies, and pills that do everything from cheer, to quiet, to kill. It is a time when there is much in the showroom window and nothing in the stockroom. A time when technology can bring this letter to you, and a time when you can choose either to share this insight, or to just hit delete...

Remember; spend some time with your loved ones, because they are not going to be around forever.

Remember, say a kind word to someone who looks up to you in awe, because that little person soon will grow up and leave your side.

Remember, to give a warm hug to the one next to you, because that is the only treasure you can give with your heart and it doesn't cost a cent.

Remember, to say, "I love you" to your partner and your loved ones, but most of all mean it. A kiss and an embrace will mend hurt when it comes from deep inside of you.

Remember to hold hands and cherish the moment for someday that person will not be there again.

Give time to love, give time to speak! And give time to share the precious thoughts in your mind.

AND ALWAYS REMEMBER:

Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.

If you don't send this to at least 8 people....Who cares?

Vignette on a Virtue

2009-12-01T23:41:00.000-06:00

Humility is the acceptance of the possibility that someone else can teach you something else you do not know about yourself. Conversely, pride and arrogance close the door of the mind. - Arthur Deikman

Lenny Bruce

2009-12-01T23:39:00.002-06:00

"I am not a comedian. I am ... Lenny Bruce" - Lenny Bruce

Buttressed in Pew

2009-12-01T23:37:00.002-06:00

Two little old ladies were attending a rather long church service. One leaned over and whispered, “My butt is going to sleep.”“I know,” replied her companion, “I heard it snore three times.”

Memories A'miss

2009-12-01T23:35:00.001-06:00

Two elderly couples were enjoying friendly conversation when one of the men asked the other, “Fred, how was the memory clinic you went to last month?” “Outstanding,” Fred replied. “They taught us all the latest psychological techniques - visualization, association - it’s made a big difference for me.” “That’s great! What was the name of that clinic?” Fred went blank. He thought and thought but couldn’t remember. Then a smile broke across his face and he asked, “What do you call that flower with the long stem and thorns?” “You mean a rose?” “Yes, that’s it!” He turned to his wife. “Rose, what was the name of that clinic?”

Screen Clean

2009-12-01T23:33:00.001-06:00

I know you don't clean the inside of your computer screen very often, as it is very difficult to do, so here is my present to you.

Have a Wonderful Day

2009-12-01T23:31:00.001-06:00

Hilaritas

2009-12-01T23:20:00.004-06:00

“When you realize how perfect everything is you will tilt your head back and laugh at the sky” - Buddha (Hindu Prince Gautama Siddharta, the founder of Buddhism, 563-483 B.C.)

"One of the functions of humor is to help all of us take ourselves less seriously. Humor is the divine antidote for exaltation of ego." - The Urantia Papers

Originally, to have good humor did not mean to joke often or often laugh at other's jokes, but basically meant to be in a state of cheerfulness.

Hilarity: 1440, from L. hilaritas (gen. hilaritatis) "cheerfulness, gaiety," from hilaris "cheerful, gay," from Gk. hilaros, related to hilaos "graceful, kindly." In ancient Rome, Hilaria (neut. pl. of hilaris) were a class of holidays, times of pomp and rejoicing; there were public ones in honor of Cybele at the spring equinoxes as well as private ones on the day of a marriage or a son's birth. - etymonline.com

Humor: 1340, "fluid or juice of an animal or plant," from Anglo-Norm. humour, from O.Fr. humor, from L. umor "body fluid" (also humor, by false assoc. with humus "earth"), related to umere "be wet, moist," and to uvescere "become wet." In ancient and medieval physiology, "any of the four body fluids" (blood, phlegm, choler, and melancholy or black bile) whose relative proportions were thought to determine state of mind. This led to a sense of "mood, temporary state of mind" (first recorded 1525); the sense of "amusing quality, funniness" is first recorded 1682, probably via sense of "whim, caprice" (1565), which also produced the verb sense of "indulge," first attested 1588. "The pronunciation of the initial h is only of recent date, and is sometimes omitted ...." [OED] Humorous in the modern sense is first recorded 1705. For types of humor, see the useful table below, from H.W. Fowler ["Modern English Usage," 1926]. - etymonline.com

Comedy: late 14c., from O.Fr. comedie, from L. comoedia, from Gk. komoidia "a comedy, amusing spectacle," from komodios "singer in the revels," from komos "revel, carousal" + oidos "singer, poet," from aeidein "to sing." The classical sense is similar to the modern one, but in the Middle Ages the word came to mean poems and stories generally (albeit ones with happy endings), and the earliest Eng. sense is "narrative poem" (cf. Dante's "Commedia"). Comedy aims at entertaining by the fidelity with which it presents life as we know it; farce at raising laughter by the outrageous absurdity of the situation or characters exhibited; extravaganza at diverting by its fantastic nature; burlesque at tickling the fancy of the audience by caricaturing plays or actors with whose style it is familiar. Generalized sense of "quality of being amusing" dates from 1877. - etymonline.com

Comedian did not originally mean humorous entertainer, joker or prankster, but comic poet. One who could raise laughter and make light with poetic narrative.

Comedian: 1580s, "comic poet," later (c.1600) "stage actor in comedies," also, generally, "actor," from Fr. comédien, from L. *comoedianos, from comoedia (see comedy). Meaning "professional joke-teller, etc." is from 1898. - etymonline.com

While trying to spread cheer or hilarity we use some very telling terminology. We tell others to lighten' up when we wish to lighten' mood and we make light-hearted remarkes to make light of situations.

Light (adj.): "not heavy," from O.E. leoht, from P.Gmc. *lingkhtaz (cf. O.N. lettr, Swed. lätt, O.Fris., M.Du. licht, Ger. leicht, Goth. leihts), from PIE base *le(n)gwh- "light, easy, agile, nimble" (cf. L. levis "light;" see lever). The notion in make light of (1526) is of "unimportance." Alternative spelling lite, the darling of advertisers, is first recorded 1962. Light-fingered "thievish" is from 1547; light-headed "dizzy" is from 1537; light-hearted "cheerful" is from c.1400. Light-weight is 1773 in pugilism and horse-racing; figurative sense of "inconsequential" first attested 1809. Light-skirts "woman of easy virtue" is attested from 1597. - etymonline.com

Light (v.): "touch down," from O.E. lihtan "to alight," from P.Gmc. *linkhtijan, lit. "to make light," from *lingkhtaz "not heavy" (see light (adj.)). Apparently the ground sense is "to dismount a horse, etc., and thus relieve it of one's weight." To light out "leave hastily" is 1870, from a nautical meaning "move out, move heavy objects," of unknown origin but perhaps belonging to this word. - etymonline.com

Light (n.): "brightness," O.E. leht, earlier leoht, from W.Gmc. *leukhtam (cf. O.Fris. liacht, M.Du. lucht, Ger. Licht), from PIE *leuk- "light, brightness" (cf. Skt. rocate "shines;" Arm. lois "light," lusin "moon;" Gk. leukos "bright, shining, white;" L. lucere "to shine," lux "light," lucidus "clear;" O.C.S. luci "light;" Lith. laukas "pale;" Welsh llug "gleam, glimmer;" O.Ir. loche "lightning," luchair "brightness;" Hittite lukezi "is bright"). The -gh- was an Anglo-Fr. scribal attempt to render the O.E. hard -h- sound, which has since disappeared. The fig. spiritual sense was in O.E.; the sense of "mental illumination" is first recorded c.1449. Meaning "something used for igniting" is from 1684. Lighthouse is from 1622; light bulb is from 1884. The verb is from O.E. lyhtan (cf. O.S. liohtian, Ger. leuchten, Goth. liuhtjan). - etymonline.com